The 5 questions most feared by men are:
1...What are you thinking about?
2...Do you love me?
3...Do I look fat?
4...Do you think she is prettier than me?
5...What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly(i.e., tells the truth).

As a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible Responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer,which most likely is one of the following:
a...Baseball.
b...Football.
c...How fat you are.
d...How much prettier she is than you.
e...How I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:
a...Oh Yeah, crap loads.
b...Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c...That depends on what you mean by love.
d...Does it matter?
e...Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Among the incorrect answers are:
a...Compared to what?
b...I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c...A little extra weight looks good on you.
d...I've seen fatter.
e...Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
Incorrect responses include:

a...Yes, but you have a better personality.
b...Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c...Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d...Define pretty.
e...Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 5: What would you do if I died?

WHO CARES..........!!!!!!!!!
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