I am an average student bogged down by irrational -irritating-insane questions evry now and then....so i thought of compiling a few blunt answers if i had an option to throw back at the person who asks the question .......
Apart from being average...m a lil lazy kinda guy too......so evn though there were many of those irritating questions....i chose to write only a few......i hope u guys too wud share ur experience with irritating questions and insane answers to them.............so without wasting any more time……Vikash Maheshwari present You all with my version of answers to pakau questions……(you see ,I love to create a hype…….hahahaha…….)
1)life toh set hai tumhari..........15-20 lakh ka package toh mil hi jayega nahi?
-uncle.......pehli baat ........news paper kabhi khol k padh bhi liya karo.......faltu ki bigg boss.......india news dekhte rehte ho........duniya recession se gujar rahi hai aur aapke aise faltu questions se me depression se gujar raha hu ...........
2)CA toh kar rahe ho .......woh sab toh thik hai.......par future ka socha hai kuch????????aage kya karne ka socha hai?
-man.........does this imply that i m doing CA jst to pass tym.......masti k liye ?????or he has already taken it for granted that i wud never b a CA??????
Haan socha hai na uncle….CA karne k baad mai Astronaut banne ki soch raha hu……nahi nahi wait……….why not think li’l more ambitious……..why not run for presedential elections in the US ..what say???????Do I have a chance uncle??????
3)Satyam ghotale me CA ka hi haath tha na?
-Nahi aunty.....mera haath tha...........mere haath bht lambe hai na............kahi bhi -kabhi bhi pahooch jaate hai.......nw how wud i knw .........high level committee is luking into the matter........aur itna hi interest hai toh newspapers q follow nahi karte ??????
4)CA finals me ho........accha hai.........meri behen ki beti ne bhi cpt clear kar liya...........aur mere dewar k bete ne bhi cpt clear kar liya....woh bhi 1 attempt me.......waise tumne kitne attempt diye hai finals k?
-arey wah....congratulations aunty.........cpt clear kiya......woh bhi ek attempt me....wow...........they shud be felicitated........infact i say unko toh Bharat ratna de dena chahiye...........itna mahan karnama jo kar diya hai ..........aur rahi baat meri ........i guess mai unke jitna intelligent nahi hu ..........ek attemt me naih hua finals aunty..........
5)CA toh chalta rahega........shaadi k baare me socha hai????kamana kab shuru karoge...........jab mai tumhari umar ka tha........pappu paida bhi ho chuka tha........mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai meri pehli naukri kolkata me lagi thi.rs.1500 milte the mujhe 1980 me.......
-wow.......badhai ho uncle.......aap toh mahaan ho..........1500 se shuru kar k aaj kaha pahuch gaye...........15000..........great..........sahi kaha aapne....degree me kya rakha hai....aur rahi baat aapki shaadi ki......hw lucky u were....aunty ko aaj bhi jab mai dekhta hu toh mujhe hema mallini ki yaad aati hai..kitni khoobsurat rahi hogi na woh????aaj bhi agar woh apna 20-30 kg kam karle toh launde mar mite unpe...(literally....jehar kaha k khud khusi kar le)...waise woh aap pe itna chillati q hai?????..wasie unka bhi koi dosh nahi....samajh sakta hu mai unki halat ko......aapke faaltu k gyaan se toh koi bhi frustrated hoke chillane lage...woh toh mai hu jo bass sunn raha hu....aur rahi baat pappu ki........woh kuch bhi bann gaya hoga......par still....pappu cant dance sala......
6)kitne saalo se attempt diye jaa rahe ho.......chod q nahi dete abb?
-haan -haan q nahi ........chod deta hu........waise aap bhi toh kitne saalo se auntyji ko jhel rahe ho.chod q nahi dete unko......roj boss k taane..naukri chod q nahi dete.......makaan maalik ki jhig-jhig......ghar chod q nahi dete........koi aapki baato ko tawajjo nahi deta..gyaan baatna chod q nahi dete.........cigarette pine se cancer hota hai.chod q naih dete......chodna agar itna aasan hota toh kya baat..........
anyways.......i wish i cud give thode blunt answers to those silly questions......par mere usul..........mere aadarsh mujhe iski izazat nahi dete............
"uff tumahre usul ..tumahre aadraash......jine gunn k do waqt ki roti bhi nahi ban sakti....."........hahaha i love this dialouge........ghused diya aise hi.........irrelevant............
Now if I have managed to pull u till the end..i owe you a big thank you……..if giving medals were my discretion……I wud have surely given u param veer chakra…….takes a lot of courage to read all this crap…….and to all those who are fuming in anger after reading my non-sense replies……hold on…..i have a sweet little disclaimer written in the end just for u ……..by the way…….there is life beyond those tax amendments and Accounting standards…….go discover your funny bone………
***disclaimer***-the views above are my personal views.....India being a democratic country ..i have freedom of expression.....(I guess)............plz dont drw unnecessary inferences...........and evn if u do...........wat can i do............ur choice.ur life...do wat eva u feel like..............go on a hunger strike...join anna if u want........
CAclubindia
