Ways to stay calm when provoked by arguement

Rupesh Maheshwari (ACA, Dip. IFR (ACCA)) (6166 Points)

19 February 2017  

Ways to Stay Calm when Provoked by Arguement???

When provoked by an argument it can be difficult to maintain your composure and not participate. Although it may be difficult, there are ways to stay calm.

 

One of the most important things to remember is to stay focused, do not let your mind get into the turmoil of the oncoming argument directed your way. Staying focused on the fact that if you participate, then things will be twice as bad in the end. Not only do you have one person throwing words around like darts but once you step in and add your contribution this will intensify the problem.

 

Taking a deep breath does help. Inhale and breathe out slowly, this is an automatic way to calm your own nerves that are getting stirred up inside you. Repeat the breathing at minimum three times. This will calm you to an extent if you are surrounded by the chaos of someone provoking an argument.

 

Taking a walk can definitely help keep you calm. Excusing yourself from the situation and taking a walk, clears the mind and keeps you grounded.

 

Look at things from a different point of view. When someone is provoking an argument it is also easy to become defensive and want to stand up for yourself. Instead of reacting to a negative emotion, take a look at the person who is arguing with you and realize, this is not your own behavior. You do not have to lower yourself to the level they are in.

 

Most arguments are caused by some kind of fear. As they are throwing their words at you ask yourself, what does this person fear? Let them say what they want or think they have to say, and analyze the situation as they are acting in an unacceptable manner. By focusing on what is causing their fear in order to make them behave this way, this keeps your own thoughts from getting tangled up in the emotions the arguer is causing within you.

 

If the person provoking the argument in persistent and there is no easy way to excuse yourself from the situation. Do not react and remember in most cases, when you do not feed the fire the fire eventually burns out. Let them carry on, but in your own mind tell yourself you refuse to participate in this and remind yourself this will soon burn out.

 

Even though you may be in the presence of someone who is provoking the argument does not mean you have to really be there. By saying this I mean, picture something else in your mind that brings you joy as the person is ranting and raving. Separate yourself emotionally and do not let the feelings start to boil. As soon as you feel the adrenaline taking over, just push your mind back to the thoughts that make you happy.

 

Action causes reaction. When there is no action there is no reaction. It is best to just let the person vent out whatever they feel the need to argue about and keep yourself separated mentally as best as possible.

Everything eventually comes to pass.