Last Nov 2015 final exam was my 5th attempt and my Group-2 marks stood at 54, 50 and 53 in Cost, DT and IDT respectively, while my ISCA score was just 31. Hence I failed this time too. But the funny fact is, this is the first time I failed in ISCA from my past 4 attempts (of which the least score being 45).
I'm experiencing this kind of result from past 3 attempts. Luckily somehow i cleared group-1 in my 2nd attempt. In this article I'm not judging the ICAI's strict valuation process, or my capability of clearing exams. Rather I wish to bring out a terrible step I took because of frustration caused by my past CA results and some family disturbances. Before I took CA course I dreamt about becoming a professional, getting exposure in a particular field (especially indirect tax and audit) and start practicing. As the time passed somehow I managed to clear CPT, IPCC and CS Inter in first attempt and also was satisfied with kind of articleship I got. Once my articleship tenure got over, as a normal student instead of taking a job I studied the final syllabus heartfully and took the exam with confidence. As the number of attempts got increased I started looking for a part-time job so that I can take care of my expenses and not depending on parents. It was then I met a person (let me call him Mr. X) who was a CA and a very friendly person who is down to earth. He was once worked as a consultant in one of the client for whom I was in charge of conducting statutory audit.
Later he had resigned the job and opened his own office and started practicing on his own. He offered me a part time job by allotting few assignments. Initially it was agreed that I'll be given 40% of the biil amount per assignment. Due to some difficulty in arriving at the bill amount, he started paying random salary. I was very happy for that either because of the following aspects:
a) I used to get atleast Rs.12,500 per month (some times I received even Rs.25,000) where my expenditure per month stood at max.Rs.1,000 per month as I was working at home.
b) I was free for almost 10-12 days without work per month.
c) Further he agreed to give me any number of days leave for my studies.
Also I was given the liberty to leave the job at any time if i find a new one. As my life was going on a perfect track, I utilised the situation and gave my best shot to my group-2 exam for last 3 times. But i was disappointed with the results, because I use to fail either due to aggregate or less than 40 marks in one subject. Added to that, every now-n-then I witnessed some family disputes (though not financialy and also I was not involved in such disputes). This made me to take a wrong step of searching for an accounts job which was against my dream.
Hence I approaced one of my best friend and well wisher (Let me call him Mr. Y) in searching the job. He had got a very good reputation in the industry and the clients he was handling. Problem was I didn't inform him about my dreams or intention. After a week I got a call from another person (I'm naming him to be Mr. Z), informing me about a vacancy in his company.
The next morning when I met him I was surprised to get the job without being interviewed and also he aggreed to pay me Rs. 30,000 per month as i asked for without even negotiating. I was left with no reason other than accepting the offer. Honestly speaking I was not interested in taking this job because I was selected based on influence and not for my qualification and also it was against my dreams. Since I was blind by the frustrations, I accepted the offer and told Mr. Z and Mr. Y that I will be joining in 4 days. I almost forgot to tell you that Mr. Z was in a process of openning Head Office near my place and the accountant post was to be filled immediately. Even a few days delay in filling the post was affecting his business at the most. Based on my words he had rejected few candidates also. Mr. X being aware of my wrong step contacted me to explain how foolishly I was thinking. He gave an example of couple of his friends who started there employement before completing CA and are finding difficult to became CA. He convinced me telling that though the employement (Accounts job) may provide me an additional amount around Rs. 60,000 to 100,000 a year, which is no way a substitute for my hopes and dreams. Also he convinced me that if I look forward on a longer perspective I can be worth more than what the current job can offer me. He suggested me of not thinking anything else till I complete my CA.
He further added that I can continue working in his office and get as many days of leave for my exam. Thereafter I regained my cnsciousness and thought of rejecting the job offer. Now comes the real problem. How can I convince Mr. Z that im not joing his company? What will be Mr. Y's identity if I'm not bind by my words of joining? Telling them that I was wrong in applying for job due to frustration was not an option. After giving a lot of thought, I called Mr.Y and informed him that my Current employer is offering an increment and wants to retain me. I could sense the sadness in his voice. Knowing the good heart of Mr.Y, I asked him to suggest me as to whether I shall continue my current job which now pays me equivalent amount and enough leave for the exam or to join the new one. As expected he suggested me to take an option which personnaly benefits me i.e.to continue the existing one. As per his advice I called Mr. Z and informed that I'm rejecting the offer as my current employer agreed to pay more.
That call lasted for almost 15 minutes. Mr. Z was very frustrated and started yelling at me saying that today's generation doesn't have ethics, they go behind money etc�. I was not hurt by his words. I am hurt because I broke his heart as he believed in me so much for a short span of time. I am hurt because I was mean to the feelings of Mr. Y. Probably I will not be meeting Mr. Z for the rest of my life, but I'm not sure how to show my face Mr. Y in future. After all these, now I'm back to my dreams with a guilt feeling of hurting 2 persons for no reason.
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