I was in a boring seminar. On the right seat next to me was an elderly person. He was with a person who was sitting on his right side. They were barely talking. I heard some words. I came to know that he is Vice President of a Company. I started talking to him. Soon we were talking a lot. I told him that I am a CA and working as Manager in a Company. He was happy to talk to me. When we left he gave me his card and told me to come to his office. He offered me a job in his company also. I rejected but now we are friends. The other person who was with him was listening to us.
In our life, many times we become that other person. We listen to others only and didn’t dare to talk to others to whom we don’t know. Sometimes this small talk becomes a lifetime friendship and if we talk professionally, then we can get a lot of benefit from this. We can get business contacts. Knowing persons give us opportunity to get knowledge of others and enrich the fabric of our life. I am trying to write some points to know, How to talk, how to start talk or how to talk more when we are with some stranger.
Comment honestly on how you are feeling. At a dinner party, for example, you may be thinking, I’m too shy for gathering like this. Or conversely, A lot of people find parties like these a bore, but I love them. Whatever it is, say it to the first person who seems ready to listen. You will find atleast one person who will respond. Then you can start with that. When you are honest with feeling then other will feel easy to talk to you honestly.
Talk about the surroundings. It is very common thing. If you don’t have any topic you can start with surrounding. Like if you are in a seminar, you can talk about speaker (But careful not to speak ill, he/she can be known to that speaker). If you have an active curiosity, you will see something to remark on. Once, the ice is broken, you and stranger will find it easy to talk.
Say something about your stranger. You can start with a compliment “You have a lovely, lovely face.” Perhaps most of us wouldn’t have the courage for that, but we can say something like: “I saw you across the room when you came in and I thought.” Or, “You are reading my favourite book.” Once I went to meet a very senior person of other company. I have heard that he was rude. When I entered in his cabin, I saw his portrait in his office. I guessed he is the person who praised themselves. So I start talking about that portrait. A smile came to his lips and bingo here I go. He told me about his success, his achievements etc. I didn’t get any problem with my work with that company. Because boss of that company was my friend.
Ask questions. Many unforgettable conversations start with a query. Try to ask people about themselves. (But don’t get too personal immediately). You can talk about their profession, their carrier goals, and their vision. But see their change of talk, if you choose a boring subject that conversation will no longer exist. Don’t ask to much, let them ask about yourself. People are as curious about you as you are about them.
Listen to the answers. Half of a good conversation is in the listening, and there can be no real dialogue without it. Once the stranger is talking then let him/her to tell about them.It is very comfortable when you are telling someone. After all we Indians are best in talking in the world. But remember if other is not telling you then you should start telling because perhaps he/she also has read this article and he/she is waiting for you to tell about yourself.
Published in Others
Source : some self helping books and personal experience
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